Muslim Mediocrity Makes Us… Racist!


Excelling at Muslim Mediocrity

by Baron Bodissey


The Lambeth Walk has a report on the ninth annual Muslim News Awards for Excellence, a gala event in which politicians and other notables gave awards to various British Muslims for… well, for being somewhat mediocre. 

Am I a racist? Or are all these pandering politicos the real racists, granting prizes to members of ethnic minorities on the basis of tying their own shoelaces or being able to chew gum while they walk?


Here’s the story:

Jacqui Smith left her sister’s home specially to be there, and other distinguished guests among the 800 invited included shadow Justice Secretary Dominic Grieve, Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg and Communities Secretary Hazel Blears.

So, without further ado, who are these heroes, those Muslims who make us proud to be a tolerant, inclusive nation?

The winners included:

Mohammed Ali, a Birmingham-based graffiti artist whose so-called aerosol Arabic is influenced by both classical Islamic calligraphy and urban street graffiti.

Imran Sidat, 15, from Leicester, who competes for England in freestyle karate and kickboxing

Mohammed Mujahid Ali, an alternative therapist, for work improving the wellbeing and mental health of black and minority ethnic people.

– – -  – – – – –

Reverend Gilleasbuig MacMillan, minister at St Giles Cathedral, Edinburgh, for welcoming Muslims to the cathedral.

Acclaimed Iraq-born composer Ahmed Mukhtar, who is based in London and is master player of the Oud, the stringed instrument popular in the Middle East.


We have a petty vandal, a sportsman (worthy, but he’s no different from any of the scores of other British kids training for the Olympics), a racist masseuse, a dhimmi and a person who plays an instrument no one has ever heard of.

Can you seriously imagine the Home Secretary turning up to something like this if the terms ‘ethnic minority’ and ‘community relations’ weren’t involved?

No, I can’t.

But I can imagine the unvoiced assumption that underlies all this nonsense: that Muslims and other ethnic minorities are incapable of the routine accomplishments that we white racist Islamophobes take for granted. No one gives awards to us honkies for such piddly little achievements. We just have to suck it up.

Truth be told, the multiculturalist’s standard assumption — that white Europeans bear a load of collective guilt for their vicious colonial past — is also an assumption that the Dark-Skinned Heathen isn’t capable of standing up on his own two feet and attaining the stature of a full human being.

And that’s racist.

One thought on “Muslim Mediocrity Makes Us… Racist!”

  1. I’m pretty impressed by the guy who plays the Oud.

    But what does Islam have to say about this?
    Playing musical instruments is haram.

    Should this guy have hot wax poured into his ears or be stoned to death?
    After all, in multicultural Britain, we must respect all cultures.

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