Sexual Bananas & Cucumbers Verboten!

Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance

It’s all about controlling women, like so many aspects of Islamic law. Sharia Alert from Eurabia: “Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance,” by Manar Ammar for Bikyamasr, December 6.

CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”  He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women. (More)

Not for the first time, we posted this kinda stuff back in 2008 from Iraq:

Phallic Cucumbers Verboten!

Besides the terrible killings inflicted by the fanatics on those who refuse to pledge allegiance to them, Al-Qa’eda has lost credibility for enforcing a series of rules imposing their way of thought on the most mundane aspects of everyday life.They include a ban on women buying suggestively-shaped vegetables, according to one tribal leader in the western province of Anbar.

Sheikh Hameed al-Hayyes, a Sunni elder, told Reuters: “They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram.

“They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men.”

Other farcical stipulations include an edict not to buy or sell ice-cream, because it did not exist in the time of the Prophet, while hair salons and shops selling cosmetics have also been bombed.

Most seriously, Sheikh al-Hayyes said: “I saw them slaughter a nine-year old boy like a sheep because his family didn’t pledge allegiance to them.”…

Iraqis found this as absurd as we did. “Al-Qa’eda in Iraq alienated by cucumber laws and brutality,” from the Telegraph, August 11 (thanks to JW)

29 thoughts on “Sexual Bananas & Cucumbers Verboten!”

  1. I’d suggest that muslim women who have the ambition to become more than a toilet bowl watch very closely what the market man does with his knife … ;P

  2. Lol I’m a 23 year old Muslim, born and raised in the US and lemme tell ya.. this article is funny and I don’t doubt its validity because the taliban Afghanistan psycho-paths are SICK! But PLEASE make sure u say that its not all Muslims, just the extremists!! Lol oh babyy that cucumber looks mighty nice ;) LOL gimme a break

  3. I would like to say that this is another way of controlling the women of Islam. It always remains the fault of women, not the men in Islam.
    OR
    Could it be that some of these men can not stand the sexual competition from these types of friuts.

  4. @ Sergio

    “…Could it be that some of these men can not stand the sexual competition from these types of friuts.”

    Hehehe …they could always suggest to their multiple wives that these fruits/vegetables are for EATING ! But then, they dont want their women too educated…

    Ah the muslim male’s lot is a burdensome one.

  5. Sheikyermami «hilarious name btw kudos lol
    Maybe you could give us info on the sheikh that made the statements. Who’s he preaching to? Ethnicity, sect of islam? And do the people take him seriously? Also, does he preach that men also should be modest in the way they dress as Jesus Christ taught us? And does he also forbid men buying melons LOL cuz if not, this guys a nut-job like tons of sheikhs, pastors, “religious” dudes etc..

    And you guys, please take notice that in the Quran women have loads of rights (obviously ur the types who twist things and interpret them to suit the fable in your minds) but why don’t you do research on women in islam who don’t live in Afganistan or Saudi Arabia(easily the worst countries ever) do research on me! Lol my mother has higher degrees than my dad, both my parents work, I buy cucumbers and bananas all the time and I’m in Law School! Also, my grandmother is educated and she was raised in a little village in Lebanon, her sisters are all educated as well!! So now tell me.. Is there a need to change the stereotype just a bit or not? Think.. Call wahabis whatever u want.. But back of my peeps ;) we cool lol

  6. Is that you, Zainab? Pretty cheeky!

    Zainab

    ” the Quran women have loads of rights “- really?

    Like you? You have the right to wear hijab, and if you don’t, your family will kill you….

    If you want to leave Islam, we can help you.

    The last woman who had rights in Islam was Khadija, the first wife of Muhammad, who was an independent businesswoman and a matron.

    After that, women (and men) became slaves, mindless drones….

    Now: can we have another pic with you and some bananas and cucumbers?

  7. Lol sweetheart yes that me and I was not forced to wear hijab LOL my mother doesn’t even wear one! I can count the number of female relatives in my all muslim family on one hand who DO wear hijab! My grandma, 2 cousins and 1 aunt. 2 great aunts, my mom, 2 aunts and dozens of female cousins DO NOT wear hijab! Do I look opressed in that pic? That was taken at my 22nd birthday at a Bistro Bar and lounge. I had my friends there, about 50 of em, male and female. It was a great time :) and ya Islam was the first religion to give women property rights. Before islam, arabs used to bury their daughter alive! Mohammad slowly attempted to free the minds of the arabs but clearly some still don’t get his message. I am free and proud to be who I am. I would like to invite you to embrace Islam, or at least respect the good Muslims in this world, like me :) I still respect you. Salam

  8. I’m gonna be honest, I like you. I like the way you take initiative in doing what you believe is right. Of course I disagree that Islam is bad, because as a Muslim, my interpretation differs from that of our enemies (extremists)
    I know you’ve probably heard people say “well just cuz priests rape little boys, don’t mean all Christians rape boys” well clearly that argument is invalid because Priests, I would hope, are not committing the act in the name of God or Christianity. Muslim terrorists/extremists are doing so. Unfortunately I see where you all are coming from but there a bigger world than what the media has portrayed, take tlc’s new show All-American Muslim for example. Its a great show, I know some of the cast personally and I am proud to say that!

    One question, when Virgin Mary wore Hijab, do you consider her oppressed or modest? Forced or chaste? When nuns choose to cover, are they also “forced”? When a woman dresses in loose clothing.. Is she being tortured because she’s not revealing her body?

    Personally I wore hijab at 14 years old, it was a year after the september 11 attacks. 9/11 woke me up, I studied Islam and other religions, even atheism. Couldn’t find a better fit for me, and that’s why God loves all of us and brought down these religions, he knows our hearts may tend to float towards a certain faith. Personally my love for Islam grows daily, my love for some Muslims.. Not so much. All we can do is educate and try to live harmoniously. Did you know that after 9/11 many Muslim women in my community removed their hijab? (None were killed for it either, r u shocked LOL) they did it because they didn’t want to be the target for any hate crimes. I wore it to show the world that I am a proud Muslim and I will continue to represent my faith not only in my heart, but in my actions, the way I dress and the way I speak. I can only hope I’m developing into a better person because of it!

    1. ” Priests, I would hope, are not committing the act in the name of God or Christianity. Muslim terrorists/extremists are doing so.”

      Spot on, Zainab. You got that one right!

      “Unfortunately I see where you all are coming from but there a bigger world than what the media has portrayed, take tlc’s new show All-American Muslim for example. Its a great show…”

      ‘Unfortunately?’ Why “unfortunately?” And what’s “bigger” than what? Why are you in the U.S. of A. and not in some kind of Islamic paradise, sweetheart?

      Why do you prefer Islamo-propaganda over the real deal?

      As you can see here, that little Mosque on the Prairie schlock & crock show has lost all its advertisers, because nobody buys Musel-prop.

  9. Hello IslamsPrincess,

    If it was Mohammad’s intent to free the mind’s of the Arab’s, why did he choose Allah, their moon deity? All of the pagan moon deities came from Ishtar, the original Babylonian moon god- and they were among the first to practice slavery. I know that Allah was the patron of Mohammad’s clan, and it is still represented in the form of the cresent moon atop most of the world’s mosques.

    You enjoy liberties, my dear princess, not because of Mohammed’s teachings. It is because God has blessed you with the remaining freedoms of being an American. You will not be persecuted here for being a Muslim, but I would be willing to wager that if you chose to leave Islam, you would face fierce persecution by your own- even here in the West.

    I am a Christian, and I follow Jesus. Politicly I am a Libertarian. You have a right to be a Muslim, as long as you understand that your rights end where mine begins.

  10. Ouch that was mean. I dunno what moon God ur talking about but I’m going to look it up to see where u got that from. And being an American has little to do with the liberties I have. My relatives in Kuwait and Lebanon all have liberties because we are raised to be free thinkers and independent people. My great aunt is married to an atheist. No one killed him for going from Muslim to Atheist. We still talk to him, he’s my neighbor! I know a family who converted from Muslim to Jehovah Witness. They’re free to do as they please! No one killed em.. Everyone is free to do as they please. Times have changed, the religion has not. Please keep in mind that culture influences the interpretation of scripture. My parents don’t have to give me freedom. I know some wahabis. In america who restrict the lives of their daughters!! But I am free because of my faith, country and family, in that order.

  11. Women in Islam…

    The Sex Life of the Prophet

    Zainab, the wife of his adopted son, became Muhammads sex slave:

    Qur’an (33:37) – “But when Zaid had accomplished his want of her, We gave her to you as a wife, so that there should be no difficulty for the believers in respect of the wives of their adopted sons, when they have accomplished their want of them; and Allah’s command shall be performed.” No doubt millions of young Muslims, trying to outdo one another at memorizing the Qur’an, have wondered about what this verse means and why it is there. In fact, this is a “revelation” of convenience that Allah just happened to hand down at a time when Muhammad lusted after his daughter-in-law, Zaynab, – a state of affairs that disturbed local customs. The verse “commands” Muhammad to marry the woman (following her husband’s gracious divorce). As for why this should be part of the eternal word of God…?

    Qur’an (4:24) – “And all married women (are forbidden unto you) save those (captives) whom your right hands possess.” Allah even permitted Muhammad and his men to have sex with married slaves, such as those captured in battle.

    Would you like to see your husband rape infidel women, Zainab?

    Koranic sex stories: Muhammad lusts and takes his son’s wife Zainab.

  12. Hello IslamsPrincess,

    Before Mohammed, Allah was the moon diety of the Arabs. Then all of a sudden, the angel Gabriel comes along and tells Mohammed that Allah is the same as the God of the Jews and Christians??? Pardon if my line of questioning sounds mean spiritted to you, I try to love as Jesus does.

    I have forgiven the Saudi customs officer and Jesus commands, but trust is a different matter. It is hard for me to trust Muslim, even though I love them as neighbors…

  13. Hello Sheik,

    I posted a response to IslamsPrincess and can remember you saying that sometimes your despammer will ommit some responses.

    This is your page and if you tire this conversation- no problem here. Otherwise, if you get a chance- can you post my response?

    Thankyou :)

    1. Thanks for letting me know, rojhoward.

      Our spam-filter is indeed on high and if your comments don’t appear at once, please let us know and we’ll fish it out of the moderation cue.

  14. Just read verse 33:37 now explain to me why your wording is different that the actual Quran I had in my hands moments ago? What I understood from it is this. It is not looked highly upon to get divorced. The woman usually would have children to take care of and her source of income is little to none in many cases. Since Prophet Mohamed led the people by example, he married the wife of his adopted son after they divorced for her reputation and as an example to the people that it was a proper thing to do if need be. We think that’s weird nowadays but times were different back then. U can look at it 2 ways, u can look at it how I did, or how u did. I prefer the way that makes sense to me. Seriously what’s written in the Quran I’m reading is different than what u typed.

    I’m glad u mentioned verse 4:24! (In my Quran its verse 4:25) I questioned this exact verse a couple weeks ago! I was like “mom what the heck is this!” She’s like “slow down and don’t ask me, I’m not a scholar! Read it again” so I read it a few times and recognized that the verse means Prisoners of war, women who are/were married and are now captured, are ok to be married by the guys who captured them. Of course I wouldn’t want my hubby to rape anyone, let alone marry more than 1!! Now the Quran I have specifically said u can’t fornicate with those women, fornication includes rape. And it also mentioned that the man still has to pay the dowry as he would any other woman. SO PLEASE be more open minded than what u have shown already lol things that may have worked back then may not work for us now. Also, before islam people were doing really sick things, all sorts of fornication, cannibalism, murdering etc.. Islam helped get rid of the pagans, u know this, quit denying it! You love me and I love u now stop it lol I’m tired its 5am here!! And I have final exams beginning tomorrow! Lol I love u guys for real, love talking about this, sharing perspectives <3

    1. Yes darling, we are sure you don’t bite. We love you!

      However; righteous sunni Muslims believe you are shia rafidah, that’s why they blow you up and kill your people.

      “Just read verse 33:37 now explain to me why your wording is different that the actual Quran I had in my hands moments ago?”

      Which translation are you reading? Just let me know, we have just about every edition of that dirty book in our archives.

      (Abdullah Yusuf Ali, M.H. Shakir, Muhammad Pickthall,) got another one?

      “times were different back then”-

      really?

      Cult leaders today also demand special treatment for their desires, no different at all.

      “Prisoners of war, women who are/were married and are now captured, are ok to be married by the guys who captured them.”

      Not married: raped! That’s what Muhammad teaches.

      “Those whom your right hand possesses!”

      What do you think that means, darling?

  15. “Unfortunately” as in “I wish this all wasn’t happening” and bigger world as in there are more muslims than the extremists u love so much. Relax a lil hun. I don’t bite.

  16. Muhammad Zafrulla Khan. Ur commets are getting disrespectful. That’s probably because ur running out of lies/ ways to twist the truth. Nice to have talked with yall. Ciao. Allah Yihdeekon. Inshallah Khair. Allahu Akbar <3

  17. Dear Islam Princess,
    I think women, Muslim and non-Muslim, but especially non-Muslim, should have the right to carry loaded weapons constantly.
    Does Islam and the Sharia grant them that right?
    Because if it doesn’t, then it’s not satisfactory.

  18. islamsprincess,
    I suggest you spend time converting your fellow muslims – when they do not feel the feed to murder and rape in the name of your religion we will all feel a little more comfortable. Convince them, as most of us have seen the real face of islam – which should be of genuine concern to all thinking people.

  19. Incidentally, I think that the community needs to be very concerned when a religion feels the need to convince the rest of humanity that they are human through a highly edited television program. The question should arise – why the concern in the first case? Well islamsprincess (and I would not feel comfortable called myself the princess of a fatal virus) – tell us why you think muslims have been so unfairly treated and we will respond with more than a sufficient number of examples in recent times where muslim organizations, governments and individuals have open persecuted, killed, or suppressed the right of non-muslims. Open your eyes if you wish to have a future.

  20. i’m really surprised by these comments …if you don’t know about islam why talking about it by the wrong way ! i’d like how will someone of you talk chinesse without learning it ..it will be a desaster to write it try and show me ..let islam for those who believe in

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