WARNING: ADULT CONTENT
Be careful when the shiite hits the fan!
On the heels of aÂ half-assed attemptÂ at assassination of a Saudi official by an al-Qaeda operative who had a pound of explosives stuck up his rectum, comes this latest al-Qaeda training video. We have obtained the full transcript.
GET LUCKY WITH A BOMB UP YOUR BUTT
Stop worrying. Your training has prepared you for an eternity of pleasures. Meet the 72 houris. Allah willing you won’t be fit for any other recreational activity. There may not be any lubricants, but there sure will be plenty of sand. With your extra-wide rectum you’ll be one happy martyr. Others will not be so lucky. And that is the whole point of becoming a butt bomber.
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I have received a new memorandum from theÂ Ministry of TruthFactCheck.org:
You are all no longer authorized to use the colloquial phrase:
“When the Fecal Matter hits the Osculating Air Circulation Device”
(“When the Sh*t hits the fan…” if you are crass publicÂ indoctrinatedÂ educated proles)
Rather you are forever after required to use the new phrase:
“When the Fecal Matter hits the Improvised Explosive Device”
(“When the Sh*t hits the IED…” if you are crass publicÂ indoctrinatedÂ educated proles)