Progress in Aceh: Female Flatulence Banned

An Islamic city council in the Indonesian province of Aceh, which follows Sharia, has banned female citizens from passing gas.

The Wadyan  (thanks to Rita)

Sayyid Yahia, mayor of the city, told media that a ban was needed, as farting does not go well with the Islamic values of modesty. “Muslim women are not allowed to fart with sound, it’s against Islamic teachings,” he said. Meanwhile, the Indonesian Feminists Association told local media they will attempt to block the smelly law as they deem it discriminatory.

Fart banned

Talking to The Wadiyan, mayor Sayyid Yahia said the law aims to save people’s morals and behaviors. “When you see woman fart loud, she appears like a man. But if she sit sideways and pass it quietly, she looks like a woman,” Sayyid said.

Although the proposed law does not ban “quiet fart,” passing gas with sound is actually not uncommon in Southeast Asia, particularly for women consuming potatoes and peas. Obviously, women maintain that they feel healthier, farting loud. Fathima Khan, a medical doctor at the Al Banni Islamic Hospital in Aceh’s capital is critical of the proposed law: “There is no need to question this practice, let alone regulate it, because people do it for their health and safety,” she said.

The mayor declined to give The Wadiyan details of what the punishment would be for violators. While another member at the City council, who wished not to be named, said if convicted by the sharia court, the offender could receive 20 lashes for small farts and up to 3 months prison time for larger ones.

On another note, the local Islamic scholars were mostly divided over the law. Well-known Muslim activists like Bshar Abdulla voiced his objection, “How to pass gas is not regulated in Sharia. There is no mention of it in the Koran,” he said on his Twitter account. However, “the Islamic tradition and the values of modesty does not support women farting loud,” said Mehmood Hussain, a scholar and stench supporter of the law.

Under the new regulation, the mayor says that only women in the public space are going to be monitored. “It will be the responsibility of the husband to make sure that his wife upholds Islamic values at home”. He also argued that there is no scientific evidence supporting health benefits of passing gas, in Koran.

The City council will be evaluating the regulation in a week, after which it could turn into a by-law.

9 thoughts on “Progress in Aceh: Female Flatulence Banned”

    1. Satire? Not necessarily.

      The profit of Islam didn’t like his fellow Mustards farting in his face either:

      Muhammad and his deity really disliked farting or passing wind:

      “Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s messenger said, ‘The Salat (prayer) of a person who does Hadath (passes urine, stool or wind) is not accepted till he performs (repeats) the ablution.’ A person from Hadramout asked Abu Huraira, ‘What is Hadath?’ Abu Huraira replied, ‘Hadath means the passing of wind from the anus.’” Vol. 1, Bk. 4, No. 137

      “Narrated Abdullah bin Yazid Al-Ansari: He asked Allah’s messenger about a person who imagined to have passed wind during the Salat (prayer). Allah’s messenger replied: ‘He should not leave his Salat (prayer) unless he hears sound or smells something.’” Vol. 1, Bk. 4, No. 139

      According to Muhammad, when angels pray they say,

      “O Allah! Forgive him, as long as he keeps on sitting at his praying place and does not pass wind.” Vol. 1, Bk. 8, No. 466

      He also prohibited people coming to the mosque after eating garlic:

      “(Narrated ‘Ata): I heard Jabir bin Abdullah saying, ‘The prophet said, ‘Whoever eats (from) this plant (he meant garlic), should keep away from our mosque.’ I said, ‘What does he mean by that?’ He replied, ‘I think he means only raw garlic.’” Vol. 1, No. 813 – see also No. 814

      This here may be an April fools joke, but even that is not totally absurd, given the collective insanity on display by the soldiers of allah:

      “It’s a Zionist plot” – Ahmadinejad Blames Jews For Erectile Dysfunction.

      “It’s a Zionist plot” – Ahmadinejad Blames Jews For Erectile Dysfunction.(DC).Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad blamed Jews today for the “global scourge of erectile dysfunction.”

      In a speech broadcast on state television, the Islamic firebrand claimed an international Jewish cabal is provoking male impotence though chemicals in bottled water and then making billions by treating the syndrome with pharmaceutical drugs like Viagra.

      In the middle of one of his more typical rants against Israel, the United States, and global Zionism, Ahmadinejad unveiled his latest conspiracy theory.

      “One of the most insidious new methods of global Zionist oppression is the effort to sap the life-forces of non-Jews around the world,” he thundered.

      “According to my closest advisers, almost 95 percent of Iranian men now have difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection. I have to admit that on very rare occasions, I have had such trouble myself, despite my legendary virility.

      “Clearly we see the work of the Zionists in this situation. Why else would good Muslim and Christian men everywhere be suffering this embarrassing lack of manly function?”

      Ahmadinejad then detailed how he believes Jews have created this epidemic of male impotence.

      “Jewish interests have taken financial control of all the bottled water companies in the world,” he explained. “They have used the dominance to slip chemicals into our bloodstreams, which destroy our ability to become erect.

      “Very attractive, sexually vibrant men have unwittingly become victims of this humiliating condition. But the Jew is not content to humiliate his enemies. He must bankrupt them too. And so they have created a cure for this induced disease – drugs such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.

      “Hard working men all over the world are spending billions on such cures just to keep themselves sexually viable. Many are facing complete financial ruin.
      “And who sells these drugs? Just look at these pharmaceutical companies: Pfizer, Merck, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Glaxo Smith Kline – these are all Jewish names!

      “We must unite to fight this conspiracy, beginning with a complete ban on bottled water in our country and a lawsuit seeking compensation for all the money Iranian men have spent on these terribly expensive erection pills.”Hmmmmm……I drink about 4 liters of bottled water a day, must be drinking the wrong stuff i guess?Read the full story here.

  1. The piece is really well done satire but given all the rest of the laws and regulations in islamic shitholes, it appears to be authentic. Hopefully, somewhere it will become a genuine regulation. Perhaps Aceh is the ideal test stop for this fartwa. I hope an imam gets a chance to read the original post.

    Although I am totally against the burka and what it represents, if it is a requirement to wear that thing, they should make it out of plastic and seal it tight so that in case of silent or loud farts, the odour could not escape.

    islam just stinks any way it is prepared.

  2. ya got watch them fartwars can really get out of hand.

    ok so Iamadinnerjacket can,t get it up lol sending broke

  3. Although I wish this story were true, I’m quite certain it is satire. I’ll believe it is real if I see a story about it in the Jakarta Post or Jakarta Globe.

    The original site was called If I recall correctly, the movie called The Dictator, starring Sacha Baron Cohen was based in the fictional republic of Wadiya.

    In any case it is good satire and I hope many people read this and learn more about islam and it’s absurd behaviours and requirements.

  4. Well, hey, it’s stupid enough to be true. I mean, many of their laws and fatwas are stupider than this.

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