Winds of Jihad Humor
Humor is a serious matter, most of the cartoons on this web site are originals produced by Shem who…
…When he doesn’t do cartoons for sheik yer’mami Shem takes the Harley for a ride…
Shem in his younger years as a platoon leader, driving a tank into Prague when the Russians invaded Czechoslovakia during the Prague spring….
A little joke for you:
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?
The Englishman throws away the cup of coffee and walks away.
The American takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.
The Chinese eats the fly and throws away the coffee.
The Japanese drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra.
The Israeli sells the coffee to the American, the fly to the Chinese, and buys himself a new cup of coffee.
The Palestinian blames the Israeli for the violent act of putting the fly in his coffee, asks the UN for aid, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Englishman, the American, the Chinese, the Japanese are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he was too aggressive.
Some of Shem’s recent cartoons
Malaysia builts the Allah-mobile with Mecca compass and prayer clock
The changing face of Cairns:
Doggie Art:”Allah” Dog
Muhammad married Ayesha when she was 6, and consumed the marriage when she was 9.- he was 54. What does that make him?
Virgins!!!
Hijab chique
‘Sensitive Police Raids’ in Britain
Far Left Delusions:
Postcard from Iraq
Do you think this is funny?
Incredible Teachings of Muhammed
By Abdullah Al Araby
Jump to: Women Sex and Marriage Human Rights Eternal Security Medicine Miscellaneous
Mohammed’s teachings are included in what is called “Hadith.” The “Hadith” is a record of Mohammed’s words and deeds according to his wives, relatives, and companions. Next to the Quran, it is the most important part of Islamic law; its teachings are just as binding.
The Hadith is recorded in many books, and by many people, not all of them are agreed upon by all Muslims. All of our quotes here are from “Sahih Al-Bukhari” which comes in nine volumes, and contains thousands of Hadiths. Al Bukhari is accepted by most Muslims as the authentic words of Mohammed. Because of the limited space, we will mention here just a few examples.
Our purpose is to give the reader a taste of the teachings of Mohammed, the prophet of Islam. Some of these teachings may shock you, and some may amuse you. Others may simply leave you mystified.
WOMEN
Women are deficient in mind and religion.
Mohammed asked some women, “Isn’t the witness of a woman equal to half that of a man?” The women said, “yes,” He said, “This is because of the deficiency of the woman’s mind. ” Vol. 3:826
Mohammed to women: “I have not seen any one more deficient in intelligence and religion than you.” Vol. 2:541
The majority of people in hell are women.
Mohammed said, “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers are women. ” Vol. 1:28, 301; Vol. 2:161; Vol. 7:124
Women are a bad omen.
Mohammed said, ” Bad omen is in the woman, the house and the horse.” Vol. 7:30
Women are harmful to men.
Mohammed said, “After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to men than women.” Vol. 7:33
Women may not wear wigs.
Mohammed said, ” Don’t wear false hair for Allah sends His curse upon such ladies who lengthen their hair artificially.” Vol. 7:133
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SEX AND MARRIAGE
Mohammed’s sexual strength is equal to 30 men.
Anas said, “The prophet used to visit all his wives in an hour round, during the day and night and they were eleven in number.” I asked Anas, “Had the prophet the strength for it?” Anas replied, “We used to say that the prophet was given the strength of thirty (men). ” Vol. 1:268
Mohammed married a 9 year old girl.
“Narrated Aisha that the prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old.”Vol. 7:64
Allah hurries to please Mohammed’s sexual desires.
When the Quranic verse that allows Mohammed to postpone the turn of any wife was revealed, and when Mohammed said that Allah allowed him to marry his adopted son’s wife, Aisha (one of his wives) told him, “O Allah’s Apostle I do not see but that your Lord hurries in pleasing you. ” Vol. 7:48
When a woman is divorced irrevocably, she can not return to her husband until she marries (including having sexual intercourse) with another man.
“Narrated Aisha: The wife of Rifaa Al-Qurazi came to Allah’s Apostle and said, ‘O Allah’s Apostle, Rifaa divorced me irrevocably. After him I married Abdur-Rahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi who proved to be impotent.’ Allah’s Apostle said to her, ‘Perhaps you want to return to Rifaa? Nay (You cannot return to Rifaa) until you and Abdur-Rahman (the impotent man) engage in sexual intercourse!” Vol. 7:186
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HUMAN RIGHTS
Islam is to be imposed by force.
Mohammed said, “I have been ordered to fight with the people till they say, “None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and whoever says, ” None has the right to be worshipped but Allah , his life and property will be saved by me.” (otherwise it will not). Vol. 4:196
Apostasy is punishable by death.
Mohammed said, “Whoever changes his Islamic religion, kill him.” Vol. 9:57
A Muslim must not be killed if he kills a non-Muslim.
Mohammed said, ” No Muslim should be killed for killing a Kafir” (infidel). Vol. 9:50
Ethnic cleansing is practiced.
Mohammed said to the Jews, “You should know that the earth belongs to Allah and His Apostle (Mohammed) and I want to expel you from this land (The Arabian Peninsula), so, if anyone owns property, he is permitted to sell it.” Vol. 4:392
Mohammed’s last words at his deathbed were: “Turn the pagans (non-Muslims) out of the Arabian Peninsula.” Vol. 5:716
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ETERNAL SECURITY
No assurance of Salvation.
Mohammed said. “By Allah, though I am the apostle of Allah, yet I do not know what Allah will do to me.” Vol. 5:266
God punishes a deceased if his relatives weep.
Mohammed said, “The deceased is punished because of the weeping of his relatives.” Vol. 2:375
When you speak badly about a deceased, the deceased will go to hell.
Mohammed said, “You praised this, so Paradise has been affirmed to him, and you spoke badly of this, so hell has been affirmed to him. You people are Allah’s witnesses on earth.” Vol. 2:448
Urine on your clothes will bring punishment from God.
Mohammed said, “The deceased person is being tortured in the grave not for a great thing to avoid, it is for being soiled with his urine. ” Vol. 2:460
Holy war (Jihad) is a guarantee of heaven.
Mohammed said, “The person who participates in (Holy battles) in Allah’s cause and nothing compels him to do so except belief in Allah and His Apostle, will be recompensed by Allah either with a reward, or booty (if he survives) or will be admitted to paradise (if he is killed). ” Vol. 1:35
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MEDICINE
Drinking camel’s urine will make you healthy.
“The prophet ordered them to follow his camels, and drink their milk and urine , so they followed the camels and drank their milk and urine till their bodies became healthy.” Vol. 7:590
Fever is from the heat of hell.
Mohammed said, ” Fever is from the heat of hell, so put it out (cool it) with water.” Vol. 7:619
A fly in your drink is a cure.
Mohammed said, “If a housefly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease. ” Vol. 4:537
How the baby’s looks are determined.
Mohammed said, “As for the child, if the man’s discharge precedes the woman’s discharge, the child attracts the similarity of the man, and if the woman’s discharge precedes the man’s, then the child attracts the similarity of the woman.” Vol. 5:275
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MISCELLANEOUS
If you eat garlic don’t come to the place of worship.
Mohammed said, “Whosoever ate from this plant (i.e. garlic) should not enter the mosque.” Vol. 1:812
Effect of evil eye
Mohammed said, “The effect of an evil eye is a fact. ” Vol. 7:636
Which shoe you should put on first.
Mohammed said, “If you want to put on your shoes, put on the right shoe first, and if you want them off, take the left one first.” Vol. 7:747
Breathing in your drink is bad.
Mohammed said, “Don’t breath into your drinking utensil.” Vol. 1:156
God frightens his devotees with eclips.
Mohammed said, “The sun and the moon are two signs amongst the signs of Allah and they do not eclipse because of the death of someone but Allah frightens His devotees with them. ” Vol. 2:158
Satan urinates in people’s ears, when they don’t wake up for prayer.
Narrated Abdullah: the prophet was told that a person had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The prophet said, “Satan urinated in his ears.” Vol. 2:245
Yawning is from Satan.
The prophet said, “Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of yuo (during the act of yawning) should say: “Ha”, Satan will laugh at him.” Vol. 2:158
Stars are missiles which God uses to hit the devils.
The creation of stars is for three purposes, i.e., as decoration of the sky, as missiles to hit the devils, and as signs to guide travelers. Vol. 2:158
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For information or comments, write to Feedback@IslamReview.com
Clitmania in Palistan
More Clitmania
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Lying (down) with Mufti Ibrahim Desai
The fartwa’s of mufti Ibrahim Desai are a treasure drove of enlightenment and not to be missed, if one is to understand the cult of Islam correctly. Given that Profit Mo was commanded to wage permanent, relentless jihad against unbelievers and Jews until all the world belongs to Allah, we have found plenty of documentation that lying is part of that strategy of conquest, because ‘War is Deception’- said Muhammad. And Muhammad is the perfect man who can’t do wrong, for all mankind, for all time:
Question to the mufti:
I’d like some explanation of this hadith. Does Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) advocate lying in this hadith ? (Written in the details below)
Answer:
We have to understand that there is a general rule and sometimes there is an exception to the rule. Everyone knows that wine is Haraam. If someone is dying of thirst and only wine is available, it will be permissible to drink the wine and only that amount which will save his life – not a drop more. Due to this dire necessity, can anyone now claim that wine is permissible to drink in all circumstances.
Regarding speaking of lies, Abdullah ibn Mas’ood [radhiallaahu anhum] narrates that Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘The speaking of lies leads one to immorality and immorality leads one to the fire of hell.’ (Bukhari) This is the general rule regarding lies, but Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] himself made the exception to the rule and whatever Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] says is a revelation from Allah. He said, ‘Lies are only permitted in three instances, for a man to make his wife happy, in war and for reconciliation between people.’ (Tirmidhi). Ka’b ibn Ashraf [radhiallaahu anhum] was instigating the Kuffaar against the Muslims, thus breaking the pact and making his blood permissible. It is for this very reason that Imaam Bukhari has written a chapter titled, ‘Speaking a lie in war’ and has narrated this very Hadith.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
“Muhammad bin Maslama got up saying, “O Allah’s Apostle! Would you like that I kill him [Ka'b bin Al-Ashraf]?” The Prophet said, “Yes,”Then allow me to say a (false) thing (i.e. to deceive Kab). Muhammad bin Maslama said, “”The Prophet said, “You may say it,” (Hadith Vol. 5, Book 59, #369).
* So in case you’re going out to kill someone, it is perfectly okay to lie to him first, got it?
*
Mullah’s love kidz, they really do:
