Critter Jihad
Just in with thanks to Pamela from Atlas Shrugs
Islamic Republic’s intelligence agents allege rodents were carrying advanced Western spy gear.
Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation’s borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic.
“In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran’s borders,” state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. “The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services.”
File this under, “you can’t make this stuff up.” The muslim madmen, with their itchy fingers on the trigger of a nuke, have busted up a spy ring of ……….squirrels.
Sheik yer’mami say: ‘Where there are squirrels, you might find nuts too…’
But this is not the first time we get such absurd reports from the ME:
Badgerphobia Grips Basra
It seems a people who believes in jinn and Muhammed’s 72 virgins believe all kinds of other nonsense too:
BASRA, Iraq (AFP) – The Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a new fear — a giant badger stalking the streets by night.
Local farmers have caught and killed several of the beasts, but this has done nothing to dispel rumours of a bear-like monster that eats humans and was allegedly released into the area by British forces to spread panic.
Iraqi scientists have attempted to calm the public but, amid the confusion and mistrust spawned by the ongoing guerrilla war, the story has spread like wildfire in the streets of the city and the villages round about.
Allah sent the Giant Spiders to combat US:
Cleric says arachnids as big as a chair killed soldiers in battle
An Iraqi sheik claims Allah sent giant spiders to the town of Fallujah to help its residents fend off attacks by U.S. military forces.
Sheik Mahdi Saleh Al-Sumide’i spoke to Syrian TV on Monday, claiming several Arab television stations videotaped the helpful arachnids.
Arrested 14 squirrels. Did they read them their rights? Oh I forgot squirrels aint got no rights. I wonder if the Iranian buggers tried to torture nformation out of them. Is there something in Sharia law that allows for arresting squirrels? Maybe it’s the chipmonks next.
Great-now badgers and squirrels will be subject to beheadings. Next thing you know we’ll be seeing fatwas of death passed against them by the most esteemed holies.
They finally captured Secret Squirrel (Agent 000). Morocco Mole has gone deep underground.