TERRORIST WHO HID GRENADES IN ANUS DIES OF INTERNAL BLEEDING AT IRAQI AIRPORT
Baghdad | An Iraqi terrorist who tried to smuggle two grenades in his backside at Baghdad International Airport was apprehended and left to die from his wounds 2 km outside of the airport reports the Iraqi Times.
The terrorist warned airport authorities himself claiming he was in agonizing pain after he had hidden two grenades in his rectum and had planned to blow up a plane.
An Iraqi bomb squad rapidly evacuated the man in the back of a pickup truck and brought him 2 km outside of the airport, in the middle of the desert, and out of “harm’s way” declared officials.
“ None of my men were willing to risk blowing themselves up to save an ISIS terrorist. We told him he would have to get the explosives out by himself ”
– Massoud Chalabi, Bomb squad supervisor
An easy catch
Iraqi authorities proceeded to the man’s evacuation in a matter of minutes and are satisfied no civilian was harmed during the arrest.
“The man had not been in the airport for two minutes that he was already crying and asking God for help so that he would not let him die this way,” explains chief of Baghdad International Airport security, Karim Hassan.
“He was pleading me to help him get the explosives out of his rectum, he asked me for a pair of pliers and I told him I would get him some, but I went and called security instead,” said Ahmed al-Sadr, an airport attendant.
“He kept crying and saying he wished he had kept his day job as a janitor instead,” he recalled.
Retrieving the explosives
The Iraqi bomb squad nearly took eighteen hours to retrieve the explosives from the dead man’s corpse after the man had bled to his death after several hours in agonizing pain.
“At first, my men asked if we could just blow him up, but Headquarters asked us to retrieve the explosives for analysis. It is important to understand what kind of weaponry the enemy is using” explained bomb squad supervisor, Massoud Chalabi.
The bomb squad proceeded to cut the man’s body in half before retrieving the bomb, an 18-hour process which left the body unrecognizable.
“Under the hot sun, the flesh rotted very fast. The body was full of maggots and flies and the odor was putrid. There was not much left, so we put what was left of his body in six different garbage bags,” he adds.
Suicide bombers are usually considered by Islam as martyrs in the context where infidels are killed but in this case, since the only life taken was his own, he would theoretically not be allowed into heaven, admit experts.
No terrorist organization has claimed responsibility for the failed terrorist attack at the moment but authorities suspect he possibly has ties to ISIS.
4 thoughts on “Allahu akbar: another anus bomber!”
Is this a joke??
Is Islam a joke?
No. Allah is most forgiving and merciful. Especially when an anal-yst blows himself up and kills kafirs in the process.
Doesn’t appear to be a big loss to the gene pool.
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